Есть задание по инглишу - записать свою речь, длиной в 2 минуты на диктофон и воспроизвести завтра на паре. С речью у меня всё в порядке, но какой записать текст - не знаю. В этом треде мы роллим на текст, который я запишу на диктофон и воспроизведу завтра преподу.Как обычно, дабл - думаю, трипл - записываю. После записи, выложу ссылку на войс в тред. Дерзай, двощ.
бамп
>>160845050 (OP)Переводишь отрывок про "говно залупа пенис хер" и записываешь. Думаю на 2 минуты там как раз будет
>>160845200Есть ещё условие об оригинальности текста, а не переводе. Сорре
>>160845050 (OP)There is an English task - to record your speech, 2 minutes long on a voice recorder and reproduce tomorrow on a pair. With my speech, everything is in order, but I do not know what text to write. In this thread, we roll on the text that I will record on the recorder and reproduce tomorrow the teacher.As usual, a double - I think, triple - I write down. After the recording, lay out a link to the voice in the thread. Dare, you two.There is an English task - to record your speech, 2 minutes long on a voice recorder and reproduce tomorrow on a pair. With my speech, everything is in order, but I do not know what text to write. In this thread, we roll on the text that I will record on the recorder and reproduce tomorrow the teacher.As usual, a double - I think, triple - I write down. After the recording, lay out a link to the voice in the thread. Dare, you two.There is an English task - to record your speech, 2 minutes long on a voice recorder and reproduce tomorrow on a pair. With my speech, everything is in order, but I do not know what text to write. In this thread, we roll on the text that I will record on the recorder and reproduce tomorrow the teacher.As usual, a double - I think, triple - I write down. After the recording, lay out a link to the voice in the thread. Dare, you two.There is an English task - to record your speech, 2 minutes long on a voice recorder and reproduce tomorrow on a pair. With my speech, everything is in order, but I do not know what text to write. In this thread, we roll on the text that I will record on the recorder and reproduce tomorrow the teacher.As usual, a double - I think, triple - I write down. After the recording, lay out a link to the voice in the thread. Dare, you two.Тебе на 2 минуты хватит.
>>160845286А оригинал на русском, так что все по честному.
>>160845428Английский оригинал, анонче
Записывай вступление из первого Fallout'a
I was 15 years old, and I always went hurriedly, as if I accidentally twisted at the touch of a button, and continued to ask that you are quiet, why do not you hear? The first time I did not answer, so he started to break through the door and shout that you are silent there that is with you? I started swearing and saying that in general the doors from the cycles would be taken away, Alosos, Baty swore if I did not die, and I did not wash off, and not only at the end of the battle, but immediately after he had crawled from the Turks, he explained this smelly, and then he told me: here I wash and wash and you do it! Once I sat down and heard my dad somewhere in the door, getting up at a distance, well, I wiped my ass and sat on the floor, and in the lower part of the door a very wide gap, well, I'm in a split and look, and there's a dad on punk sitting and looking at the crack, and telling me: are you che? fucking What are you doing here? The dad, by the way, always drinks some grass, often clinging, knocks 5 times a day, and then says he burns an ass and he barks. fuck shorter! true story. I'm not a troll
This place is great. Really comfortable. I’m just going to get settled in. Time to move on. Get on with my life. Yes, absolutely. Now, like I said, it was a long time ago. Let it go. Seriously. Definitely more my style than Panama or Hoboken, I guess. No. If I’m honest, I just got kind of bored of boozing. I mean, once in a while, but not all the time. You’re right, it wasn’t doing me any favors. Maybe I had lost my self-respect. But it’s back. I’m excited, really. I really needed a new start. I think you’re right. I think I am going to like it here. It certainly ain’t New Jersey. It’s my new life, just like you said. Listen, if you think I can still do a job, what have I got to lose? Apart from the weight. Very funny... Ha Ha... Yes, that is a fake laugh, you jerk.
Plastic world wonThe model proved to be strongerThe last boat is coldThe last flashlight tiredand throat puffs clods of memoriesOO - my defenseSunny Bunny glass eyesOO - my defenseFuneral ball absurd worldMourning ball cheap worldPlastic world won.Cheers cardboard Nabat-who needs a slice of July sky?OO - my defenseSundog blind worldOO - my defenseFuneral ball glass eyeFuneral Bunny a ridiculous world...Plastic world wonThe model proved to be strongerThe last boat is coldThe last flashlight tiredand throat puffs clods of memories.OO - my defenseFuneral ball blind worldOO - my defenseSunny Bunny glass eye.OO - my defense!
>>160845857Содомит
Captain Koons[To young Butch] Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together over five years. Hopefully, you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your dad were for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it'd been me who'd - not made it, Major Coolidge'd be talking right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out, I'm talking to you. Butch. I got somethin' for ya. This watch I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first World War. It was bought in a little general store in Knoxville, Tennessee. Made by the first company to ever make wrist watches. Up 'til then, people just carried pocket watches. It was bought by Private Doughboy Erine Coolidge on the day he set sail for Paris. This was your great-grandfather's war watch and he wore it everyday he was in that war, and when he'd done his duty, he went home to your great-grandmother, took the watch off, put it in an old coffee can, and in that can it stayed until your granddad, Dane Coolidge, was called upon by his country to go overseas and fight the Germans once again. This time they called it World War II.Your great-grandfather gave this watch to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane's luck wasn't as good as his old man's. Dane was a Marine and he was killed -- along with all the other Marines at the battle of Wake Island. Your granddad was facing death. He knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about ever leavin' that island alive, so three days before the Japanese took the island, your granddad asked a gunner on an Air Force transport, name of Winocki - a man he had never met before in his life - to deliver to his infant son who he'd never seen in the flesh, his gold watch. Three days later, your granddad was dead, but Winocki kept his word. After the war was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father his dad's gold watch. This watch. [He holds the watch up] This watch was on your daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured, put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew that if the gooks ever saw the watch, it'd be confiscated and taken away. The way your Dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slope's gonna put their greasy, yellow hands on his boy's birthright, so he hid it in one place he knew he could hide something - his ass. Five long years he wore this watch up his ass. Then, he died of dysentery. He gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. Now, little man, I give the watch to you.
>>160845050 (OP)Look, michalkin, and you like to eat tomorrow? Usual tomorrow?And you don't have it, you know? You only have one left. You freak my freak. Look, there are people, people have, many people go wandering, wash, but they wash the dome, you know? Dome wash people. Not that we wash. Th floor, Golden dome? Yes? Know them bitches all you bitches, you know? Everything is permitted. They walk like kings, michalkin.
My dad fucks general hell food.Well, this is about a recipe averaged, because the variations are mass.The soup is taken, it is not heated, it is not about my batya. He takes this soup, dumps it in a frying pan and begins to fry. Adds to it a huge amount of onions, garlic, pepper black and red MUKI! for viscosity, tomato paste on top. All this is cooked to smoke. Then it is removed from the fire and cooled down on the balcony. Then dad brings in and generously watered mayonnaise begins to eat. At the same time he eats with a frying pan skryabaya on her with a spoon. Eats and whispers in a whisper. At the same time he has sweat on his forehead. Kindly offers me sometimes, but I refuse. Do I need to talk about what wild farthest then? The stench is such that the wallpaper from the walls are peeled off.
I eat assI eat a lot of assI eat assI eat a lot of assFrom black to brown to asianI eat a lot of assI eat way too much assIt effects my nutritionIf there was an ass eating competitionI would easily win cause I eat the whole assCause I eat the whole ass(Ooooooooo) Eat the whole assEat the whole assEat the whole ass bruhEat the whole ass (oooooooooo oooooooooo oooooo)(ass eating noises)[George Miller]You know in this game you gotta eat the whole ass bruhAin't no playing aroundYou just gotta get in there and eat the whole assYou know what I'm saying?
Recently I started to like covering myself in stale feces and masturbating. Almost every morning I walk around my neighborhood with a large black garbage bag and collect all the crap I see. It takes a whole day to get two bags full of shit. But it all pays off when I come home after a hard day, go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water and…mmm, pour all the crap into the bathtub. And then I masturbate, imagining that I’m being devoured by all the feces. All in all, I think, that poo has its own mind, each pile of shit has its own family, place, feelings, we shouldn’t just flush them down the toilet, we should take care of them, talk to them, pet them… And you know what, I had a wonderful dream while lying in the bathtub yesterday, I dived into the sea and it turned into shit, fish, seaweed, jellyfish, everything turned into poo, even the sky, Allah himself.
ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT?!
I do not know about you, but I personally adore Shawarma. Say what you like-fuck me! .. Yes! Shawarma is filled with meat of dogs. I know this, and what? .. It's tasty and that's the main thing. I have a lot of things in life like to eat, but shaurma - it's clearly something special, something like a good lamb shish kebab, just much pizdach. Most of all I like the fact that it costs a penny and I can take two or even three shawarmas at once.I'm not the only passionate lover of this dish in pita bread, all my acquaintances also adore her, sometimes they even sacrifice beer and buy shaurma, when they stand and sing in company with me. For Shawarma, I'm ready to kill ... It was a matter of how I with my crony friend Lyokha stood near the subway, where the shaurma is sold. Lech bought and as usual did not get caught ... Hands are leaky, picked up and dropped to the ground. I immediately started: - You ohuel? .. I took it, the nail fucked him. A nail, if someone does not know, it's a strong kick on the leg, in the army, if that, such concepts roll. Please note that Lyokha is my friend, I fucked him for just one shawarma, but imagine if these same shawarmas would be ten. I'd kill him fucking! .."You're a fool, Yuri," said Lyokha. "Because of some kind of shawarma, I'm ready to heal my friend." ... I did not really understand what Alexei was telling me. For a long time after that I shook him with this shawarma, which he dropped. - Yes, you already fucked, let me better buy you another! - Lech started to get angry. Only after he bought it for me, I calmed down and stopped on him.From time to time we crossed paths with him to talk about life. On one of these days, Lech asked me: "Yurok, how much can you eat a maximum of shawarma at a time? .. I do not know!" - I answered. Six will eat? .. "asked Lyokha. No problem! I answered. And then we argued that if I eat six Shawarms in a row, then Lechha gives me a mower, and if not, then on the contrary, plus I give grandmother for that shawarma that he ate. Lech bought six pieces at once, and then I began to shove them into myself ... The first two went easily, but the other four climbed with great difficulty. Lyokha was already beginning to doubt me, but I stubbornly shoved the shawarma into my mouth ... The latter climbed with special difficulty, I almost burst out. Well, you, Yurets, handsome! said Lyokha and began to offer me a thousand. - Are you fucked? .. Fuck fuck, - I said, - I'll take money from comrades ...At that moment, I was afraid that I would not try this shawarma more in my life, I was full of nausea, I even had to buy water to somehow effect the process of digestion. With Lyokha I put out another couple of hours. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, I realized that I want to shit. It's fucked up! .. I really really wanted to shit, fart per ass pushed the shit to the exit, which very much wanted to see the light at the end of the tunnel ... - Everything, Lech, pussy ... I'm home! .. - I began . He laughed. I wanted to hit him, but because of the fear of relaxing half-heartedness and crap, I did not do it. It's a long way from home, at least twenty stops by bus, you need to drive ... And here it's not crocking, too close to the center ... No garages ... Entrances are closed to strangers ... One way out is to go to the house by bus .. This was a very difficult test for me.With each stop, I was getting worse and worse. Shit had to prop up the palm so that it did not come out.Outside, winter, cold, bus windows are closed, all passengers on the bus felt the smell of frit. And shit all the pierls and pierls ... Usually, when I needed to take a shit, I just strained the buttocks and after a few seconds I did not want to shit for a while, but this time the incident was very difficult. It seemed to me that the ass was about to burst with an explosive wave and that like a volcano, shit would emerge as a brown lava in his pants.Soon I began to fart frankly, hoping that by releasing gases, it will become easier for me. It only got worse, shit kept climbing and climbing. "Phew! .. What kind of people?" - I heard the conversations. This was said grandmother, who was staring at me, as if she knew who emits such a smell of smell. In principle, it was not easy to determine, that I wanted to shit just ... I was shoving, I figured in my head that if I just relax my ass for a second, I'll just rub it and it will be easier for me ... Yes, it was not, it was me I thought that perdanu was air, I fucked up shit, that is, crap and did not understand it right away, but when I understood it, I craped even more ... I shit myself after the shit that got out first, the bulk was already in the pants ... To get a grip on the bus was terrible, the bus began to resemble a village duster.The thing is that shit in the pants is much more stinky than by itself ... I had to do something urgently. I rode and pretended that nothing was happening.Finally my stop. I flew out of the bus like a cigarette and, unhurriedly, went to the house, trying not to make myself suspicious. I reached the house successfully, I ran into my staircase, and then into the elevator and I pressed on the last floor. In the elevator, I took off my pants, then the panties, in them something was the bulk of the shit. I inclined her and she fell to the floor of the elevator, but it was far away
Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you
Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!
>>160845857И под музыку можна вообще заебись. Реквестирую вебм где японская богиня поет эту песню
>>160845050 (OP)Да просто берешь первые абзацы из больших надежд Диккенса или любой другой английской классика.
>>160847879Хочется что-нить поинтереснее, всё же.
Hello. I am a Russian occupier. I have a profession. It happened historically.I occupied Siberia. Now they produce oil, gas, aluminum and a lot of useful things. Now there are cities in which multi-storey houses stand. Now you can not sell women for a bundle of sable pelts, as it was before the Russians.I occupied the Baltic states. He built factories and power plants there. Instead of their ridiculous farms. The Baltic States made high-end radio equipment and cars. I was asked to leave. Now they get sprats there, and most of the able-bodied population cleans eurounitases.I occupied Ukraine. And there I also built factories and power stations. Ukraine made aircraft engines, ships, tanks and cars. I was asked to leave. Now they produce maidans in commercial quantities. And more there do not produce anything.You know what? I had to apologize for being an occupier. Yes, I'm an occupier. By birthright. I know the device of the Kalashnikov assault rifle better than the nipple device for milk. I'm an aggressor and a bloodthirsty freak. Be afraid.I lived for 300 years under the Mongol-Tatars - but where are those Mongol-Tatars now? This I burned Moscow, not to give it to Napoleon Bonaparte - but how did Bonapart end? I was sitting in the trench near Volokolamsk, realizing that the Germans would not be able to hold back - where are the Nazis today, where is their accursed Hitler? Everyone came to my house, to whom not laziness. The Turks, the British, the Poles, the Germans, the French. The earth was enough for everyone - 2.5 meters for each.I do not need your hypocritical freedom, I do not need your rotten democracy, I do not care about everything that you call Western values, I have other interests!Politely I warn you for the last time - do not run up! I build the world! I love World! But I know how to fight better than anyone else.Sincerely, Russian occupier.
>>160847950Первые абзацы из научной статьи о когомологиях Галуа? Всем же похуй будет, какая разница.
Читай цитаты Макса Пейна.
Hello. I, Cyril. I would like you to make a game, the 3D effect is so ... The user can play forest elves, guard the palace and villain. And if the user plays elves, then the elves in the woods, the wooden houses are stuffed with soldiers of the palace and villains. You can rob the cows ... And the elf once the forest is done so that there is a dense forest ... And the engine can be put so that away the trees are a picture, when they approach they are transformed into 3-dimensional trees [1]. You can buy, etc. opportunities as in Daggerfall. And the enemies are 3-dimensional too, and the corpse is also 3d. You can jump, etc. If you play for the protection of the palace, then you have to obey the commander, and protect the palace from the evil one (I did not invent the name) and spies, the partisans of the elves, and goes on raids on the kogot of these (elves, evil ...). Well, if for evil ... it means spies or partisans of elves sometimes attack, the user himself a commander can do what he wants will order his troops with him to attack the palace and go on the attack. There are 4 zones in the game. Those. map and there are 4 zones on it, 1 - zone of people (neutral), 2-zone of the emperor (where the palace), 3-zone of elves, 4 - zone of evil ... (in the mountains, there is an old fort ...)Just so that the game could not only kill but also chop off the hand and if the user is not cured then he will die, just poke out the eye but the user can not die and just do not see the floor of the screen, or get or buy a prosthesis if the leg is either dying or wanna crawl on a stroller, or the best ... put a prosthesis. You can save ...P.S. I want this game for six years.
Excuse me, good sir! What would you like, please, leave my hearth, good sir! Good sir, leave my hearth, please! What would you be hoping to discover in the vicinity of my abode, good sir?! Wouldn’t you be kind enough to pay attention to my presence? Why would you ever want to see me, good sir? Why do you found it to your advantage to have inflicted a grave damage to the door of my house, good sir? Why do you find it to your advantage to have done so? Good sir, why do you find it to your advantage to have damaged my door? Would you kindly fix the door, good sir. Please, quick, good sir. Fix the door please, good sir. Fix the door, good sir. Just fucking fix it, good sir. Would you kindly fix the fucking door, good sir. Fix the door please, good sir. Would you fix the door, please, why did you favor me with your presence, good sir? Fix the door, please, good sir. Excuse my asking to fucking fix the door, good sir, an endeavour I would be most delighted to witness in my halls of marble and oakwood. Fucking fix the door, good sir. Quickly fix the door, you good sir, if you wouldn’t mind. Why have I fallen from the grace of your attention, good sir, just let my hand free of your grasp, good sir. Who’s postal, you fucking postal good sir. Please fucking fix the door, good sir. Fucking fix the door, good sir. I plead with you to fucking fix the door, good sir. What you would be after in the peaceful halls of mine, good sir? What would you be expecting to find yourself in the possession of inside these God-blessed halls of mine, good sir? What to you mean by saying ‘twas necessary, good sir? What you would be hoping to discover in the peaceful halls of mine, good sir? What you would be chasing after with such ardor to have ventured this far up to the oakwood doors of my peaceful hearth-hall, good sir? Fucking fix the door, good sir. Would you kindly fix the fucking door, good sir. Why would you expect me to come over to your place, good sir? (Переходит на ломаный русский) Каком учёте, ты что, дурак, что ли, мент, епт? Дверь мне поставь как выпилил, блядь.
Сцена из босса качалки.
>>160848472Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door, the leather club's two blocks down.FuckYouOh, Fuck You leather man. Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring if you think your so tough.Oh yea? I'll kick your ass!Ha! Yeah right man. Let's go! Why don't you get out of that leather stuff? I'll strip down out of this and we'll settle it right here in the ring. What do you say?Yeah, no problem buddy!You got it. Get out of that uh, jabroni outfit.Yeah, smart ass.I'll show you who's the boss of this gym
I greet you categorically!It is incomprehensible, incomprehensible, incomprehensible. Unclear. DONT CLEAR. Idiotic movie - morons ...Three stupid Japanese teenagers. The morons. Stupid teenagers are dumb. Shit. Stupid, stupid. Moron? Morons - morons moron!Debility morons morons. Debilka and moron general! Debil ...Tuporylaya tuporylost decibel. Morons are morons.Mange, anime - stupid shit stupid shit!Shit...And for today everything. Until next time!
>>160847695Просто найди это на тытрубе. Ибо это не шебм тред.
>>160845050 (OP)https://youtu.be/Qx8uqX9CSxI
https://youtu.be/bPXVGQnJm0w I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory. Someday this war's gonna end...
>>160845842Два виски этому старому пердуну от Джона Мирры
Johnny, there was sitting fucking Guk! These sons of bitches have learned to hide even there! I called the guys and we started firing that there are forces on this fucking field, I even shot a helmet, Johnny, it was just hell, and not a gunfight! Our sergeant was wounded, we dragged him into the trench and bandaged there."Guys, tell my mother ..." Sergeant Leanison began."You'll tell her everything yourself, you fucking kamikaze!"And then we called our guys, our glorious falcons, who dropped napalm on these guns. You would have seen it, man! When I came to this field, it was either green or gold, but now it will be golden for a long time and only then it will turn black, absorbing its blackness with the guks.I love the smell of napalm in the morning. The whole hill was imbued with it. It was the smell of ... victory!Someday this war will end.
у тарантино в фильмах дохуя монологов, тот же самый анекдот про ссущего на все мужика из "от заката до рассвета"
мбамп
